'Invisibility Shield' Could Turn Tanks Into Cows

ORE: disappearing act , hiding behind things , hiding from work , hiding in plain sight , invisible , magic , now you see me now you don't , tank , temperature , war , your heat-seeking missiles will never find me!

Take a gander at the picture -- any clue what you're looking at? Me neither, I thought it was the original Fallout beta or something. "I see an alligator eating a child." Okaaaaaaay, now I see a psychiatric evaluation. But apparently there's a tank in there somewhere. The only thing is it's wearing an invisibility cloak. Kind of like I use to infiltrate the women's locker room. "GW? That's not an invisibility cloak -- that's a wig and a dress." Shhhhhhhhh, you'll blow my cover. "Blow your cover? You have a full-blown beard -- at least f***ing shave!" No way, you know how long it took me to grow this thing?!

The patented system -- called Adaptiv -- uses a matrix of hexagonal "pixels" that can change their temperature very rapidly. On-board cameras sweep the area to pick up the background scenery and display that infra-red signature on the vehicle.
This allows even moving tanks to be effectively invisible in the infra-red spectrum, or mimic other objects. "The tank skin essentially becomes a big infra red TV," BAE Head of External Communications Mike Sweeney[!!!!!!!11] told Wired.co.uk. "You can display anything you want on it -- including a cow -- while the rest of the vehicle blends into the background."
The current system works in the infra-red spectrum, which could hide vehicles from heat-seeking missiles, drones and heat-sensitive goggles.

That's actually pretty clever. Still, nothing is clever enough until we have optical invisibility shields, which is exactly why I've captured the Invisible Woman and am gonna inject her with this truth serum to find out how they work. *flicking syringe* "You do know she escaped the last time you opened the door, right?" Wait -- WHAT?! *trips, stabs self in chest* I...still sleep with my blankey. "LOLWUT?!" I want to kiss a man before I die.
Short but very worthwhile video of the technology in action after the jump.
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Aug 3 2011 Should've Used A Monster Truck: Lithuanian Mayor Crushes Illegally Parked Car In Tank

MORE: crushing things , driving like a crazy person , fake , i like how he at least cleans up his mess afterwards , i would have shot it with a bazooooooooka , illegal , making a point , now roll over my stomach with that thing! go on -- my abs can take it! , staged , tank

This is a video of Vilnius (the capital of Lithuania) mayor Arturas Zuokas crushing an illegally parked Mercedes in a tank. Except that's not really a tank because tanks have treads (but not all things with treads are tanks!). That right there is what we call an urban assault vehicle. I assume the whole thing was staged, but the point that Mayor Zuokas was trying to make is that illegally parked cars WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Prostitution, maybe, but not if they're gonna wear those shorts where their buttcheeks are all hanging out the bottom. Those are gross. Still, I'm not sure running over a single car in a wheeled tank-thingy is really the most effective way to deter illegal parking. No, the best way to deter illegal parking is to hide under the perp's car and slit their Achilles tendon when they come to get in. Now that shit -- that shit'll teach somebody a lesson. Just not one about learning to walk again, that's the physical therapist's job.
Hit the jump for the lamest monster truck rally I've ever seen and I've seen them put on in a neighbor's backyard before.

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Jul 21 2011 The Latest And Greatest Landmine Detonator

MORE: blowing things up , boom goes the dynamite landmine! , boom! , deathtrap , do want , explosion , explosive , gw approved , hammer , i like it , kaboom! , mining , tank , the simplest solution is often the best , war

This is the remote-controlled Digger D-3 "flail tank". It's the latest and greatest (read: explosive-proof) of Digger mine-detonators, which have been around since WWII. Basically, it's steered around on the battlefield like a giant R/C car tank while it wails on the ground with a rotating drum of 10-pound hammers on chains, setting off anything explosive it comes in contact with. God what I'd give to drive that thing around town.

The ten pound hammers spin wildly on the bar, digging up to 8 inches into the dirt as they strike. Heavy armor protects the tank if a mine explodes, and any damage to the hammers or chains is easily repaired in the field.

I love it. Granted I'm sure we could invent some sort of robotic mine detector or an orbiting satellite that could locate and detonate land mines from space with a powerful laser beam, but I miss the the good old days when the answer to everything was "just beat the shit out of it." *eying mangled printer* Haha, you know what I'm talkin' about!
Hit the jump for a video of the D-3's predecessor (cleverly named the D-2), in action.
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